I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
