You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize