you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
