if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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