YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
