sarcasm needs its own font
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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