I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize