I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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