so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
