Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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