I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
