hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
