I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
