why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
