If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
