Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
