I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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