I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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