I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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