did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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