Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize