She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
they need to just BURY HIM!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
