Do you still have your period?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I came so hard my ears popped.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize