I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
