My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
is wine microwaveable?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
