The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
