Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
