think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
