this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize