I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize