every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What a dumb baby whore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
