From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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