we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
