she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize