I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
