fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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