absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
