I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
