So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
