dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
