It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
