Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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