I think I am morally bankrupt
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
