Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
