i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
