So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
