Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize