Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
