i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
