But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
