Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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