"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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