New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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