Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
