if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
