Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
