ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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