I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
