I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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